I just came back from volleyball chalet today. It was really fun to be with my volleyball friends and seniors from both CHS and NYGH. Did many things like playing beach volleyball and card games. I loved the game 'RISK' I played with the guys. It was very funny, you can see all the backstabbing from the game. Haha...
Mind you, I think I am bloating from the 2 Bk meals I ate consecutively yesterday. I don't know how much exercise I need to do in order to burn off those fats! After all the training with the HCJC volleyball team, it makes me feel very guilty to eat such unhealthy food.
Anyway, this chalet was really a memorable one, and it will always be. But I really felt a little down when I left the chalet today. Looking back at all the times we shared, being a team and facing difficulties together, I cannot bear to see myself parting with these friends. Some of my team mates commented that they do not want to join volleyball anymore in JC. I really felt downcast hearing that as this meant that I will have less chance to be in contact with them. All the time we had sharing crap, talking nonsensical stuff, really seems to be passing and fading away fast. This chalet just really marks the end of my relationship with my volleyball team mates in secondary school, whether we would be able to stay the way it is for the future, let fate decide.
As I was walking down the car park at my block, I had this strange question in my mind. How many people do you get to see and to know in your life, that they just seems as though you have known them forever, yet they just disappear like flowers wither from your life, hardly do you ever see them again. The more I thought of this question, the more sad I become. Maybe I should just leave it to God, nothing can change His will. All I know is that He will be the most trusted friend in the my life and will always be.
Why do people have more of these weird feeling as they grow older? Why do they love to look back at the past? Why do they do lots of weird things just to relive that short, memorable feeling, just like it is in the show " 6 Weeks"? I don't know, I just don't know...That brings me to one of the verses in the bible. Jesus said that only people with the heart of a child would be able to pass through the gate of Heaven. Indeed, adults burden themselves too much with this kind of relationship. This is because they have experienced hurting ones, only to realise how precious those true relationship really are. For a child, he knows no hatred and unreal relationship. All he knows is that someone who gives him a sweet is someone that is a friend, connected with a beautiful kind of feeling. That feeling is love. How sweet and pure that kind of love is, just like how much God loves us.
I am really feeling very weird now. This kind of feeling have never struck me so hardly before, and I am just sitting here, contemplating what the future holds for my destiny. Maybe it is time I let go of my feelings and let God perform His will on my life. Let God...
May God grant you the peace and serenity in the soul. Amen...