林扬之生命见解

NEW BLOG

2006-05-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

THIS BLOG IS OFFICIALLY DOWN. MY NEW BLOG IS www.young-myjourney.blogspot.com

SEE U THERE!!!

11 years and ending... A lesson learnt...

2006-01-26T20:55:00.000+08:00

The moments on court,
I was ready for all.
Giving my very best,
I stood to the test.

Little did I know 11 years passed,
something I can't understand.
I braved it all,
picking up when I fall.

They looked me in the eyes with hate,
they shot me behind my back.
Blood of friendships flowed,
from the aching wounds of my soul.

I thought I trusted them,
but I feel my instincts go.
They weren't made out what I made them out to be,
Help me, I don't know.

Nevertheless, few passed by in my life,
knowing I was never always right.
Forgiveness was all I asked for,
and forgiveness they gave.
Understanding I thirst for,
more understanding came.

To them a thousands thanks I give,
for you are the reason I lead.
Support you gave me,
and spark the passionate fuel I burn.

Eleven years in my life,
never have I seen such failure.
Eleven years in my life,
never have I seen such selfishness.
Eleven years in my life,
never have I seen such mindlessness.

Hard as it seems,
it came.
Cold as it seems,
it hurts.
A thorn in the flesh,
that always stings,
I choose to shun it,
just to find peace.

Mistakes I made,
anger I vented.
Fustrations I expressed,
lonliness I felt.
All these has come to pass.
ONE HAS TO REALISE HIS MISTAKE!
ONE HAS TO BE HUMBLE!
ONE HAS TO BE LAST TO BE FIRST,
BECAUSE I WAS CALLED TO SERVE.

Give me time, give me space.
Give me understanding, give me grace.
If only you were in my shoes,
would you know it is not easy
to be me.

TO BE ME...

11 years have come to pass. Eleven years it will end. I will be the silent player, that passed by the game. No one knows, no one cares, for mindless commitments I have shed. Fame is not what I asked for, glory is not what I seek. Only foolishness seeks such things, YES YOU THE FOOLISH ONE. Shaken? Feel guilty... No. Not you. IT'S YOU! OVERFLOWING WITH GUILT!

11 years of my life crippled my soul.
What used to be my friend now becomes my foe.
Never mind, I am just the little boy who spent 11 years of his youth,
learning the ugliness of 'brotherhood'.

A lesson learnt.

The court I soon leave... Tears I shall shed...

A Walk Back To The Starting Point?

2006-01-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

Well, it has been a couple of days since orientation ended. The J1s definitly have their fair share of fun and laughter. It really reminds me of the time I spent at my own orientation...

My junior class was very high. Yah, they are an energetic bunch of people that seems to have a power plant attached to their backs. What left me most in awe is their cheers revolving around Spongebob Squarepants and Bob the Builder. Haha... They could actually make a cheer out of it! I am impressed. It was no link... haha

But anyway, this thought struck me. I love both cartoons! In fact, Spongebob is one cartoon I can't afford to miss during the December holidays. I especially like Patrick the dumb starfish and I believe many people do too. It is really weird that adults and grown ups would be so hooked up to these characters and find laughter in it. I sometime love to tune in to sesame street. It brings back my old memories.

In this world of complications and fast changing trends, are the things we are searching for plain and simple? Are the things we are searching for defy logic? Are we looking some things that are no longer logic based because we are tired of the chaos in our lives? Do you ever realise that as people tend to grow older, they somehow revert back to their old childish self? I do...

I thus come up with a conclusion. We all want to search for the truth. We are taught to search for the 'truth'. But at the end of the day, what we long for are things that are simple and plain. Things that can turn on our tickling bones, just like the dumb pink starfish in Spongebob Squarepants. Random jokes or behaviour that defies logic tickles us.

These things seems to bring us back to the days of our childhood, where everything seems so simple. Why are we treading through this circle of chaos, only to find that the purity of children and simplicity is what we long for?

To me, these laughters are like mocking laughters to myself. I laugh at Spongebob Squarepants and his starfish friend, only to realise that I am dumb enough to watch it. I actually laugh at the thought that I am enjoying such simplicity that defies logic.

What is logic... I don't know...

Thank You Jun Yu!

2005-12-21T16:25:00.001+08:00

Haha.. If you all notice, I have music on my blog!! Well, all thanks to Jun Yu! ( and God too!)

Was chatting to him and he taught me how to put music on my blog. But I realized I don't have web hosting, so he willingly offered me to use his account. How nice of him lah! Haha... Good to have this kind of juniors. Aiyah... all my juniors are good. But now he can blackmail me le... Haha

Well, the song is called Testify to Love. Don't really know who sang it. My church friend sent it to me. Really nice song. Haha.. Jun yu gave me his professional tips on how to select a blog song. Well, he says some pple won't continue to listen. So, haha, listen the whole song if you want to! Haha, kidding. But it is a nice song lah. Other than a Christian point of view, it is nice from a musician point of view. Haha

OK! Hope all of you a merry CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! Jia you and God Bless YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God

2005-12-18T22:54:00.000+08:00

You asked me if God existed
I said yes

You asked me if God love me
I said yes

You asked me if God is beautiful
I said yes

You asked me if God is full of grace
I said yes

You asked me if God is fabulous
I said yes

You asked me if God is faithful
I said yes

You asked me if God is saving
I said yes

You asked me if God is omnipotent
I said yes

You asked me if God is Holy
I said yes

You asked me if God is wonderful
I said yes

You asked me if God is amazing
I said yes

You asked me if God is forgiving
I said yes

You asked me if God is merciful
I said yes

You asked me if God is loving
I said yes

You asked me if God is wise
I said yes

You asked me how does God look like
I answered, "I've barely described Him. He is indescribable......."

Beautiful Night

2005-12-16T21:54:00.000+08:00

Tonight, I went down all alone to the void deck. I stroll along the forest's edges below my flat. It was beautiful. The night sky was dull orange due to lights from a faraway source.

I played my mp3 player. Listened to Pink Martini. So soothing. Especially liked the song 'Hang on little tomato'. The song was pure and innoncent. It inspired me. Currently facing lots of pressure from volleyball training. The team don't seemed united enough. Some players seem to despise me as a captain. Haha, guess I will just hang on like a tomato on a vine... God give me strength...

Then I went on listening to Arvil Larvigne's " Things I'll Never Say". The song is really exhilarating. Listening to it while I was sitting all alone on an open grass patch. Staring at the stars makes me feel free. It was a wonderful moment.

Even as I enjoyed the solitarity, I felt like sharing this special moment with a special someone. Where is that special someone, I don't know. I guess God has plans for me. I shall wait then. To the special someone, wait for me! I will be waiting for you... Take care. I know you are somewhere out there. :)

God, Lift my soul...

The Ultimate Survial Tool: Love

2005-12-14T11:30:00.001+08:00

Introducing the new and ultimate survial tool in this present age of sin and darkness, LOVE! Yes! You heard it, and you can use, because it is LOVE!!! Be sure that you can pierce the hearts of many and change the lives of others with this simple yet magnificent tool.

This tool carries a guarantee tag that anyone can become your friend. Yes! You've heard it! Even your foes! Give them a life changing shower of love and you can change yours too! The ultimate part comes when it is in almost limitless ways of disguise! From a kiss to a pat on the back to the fundraising activities going on all year round. Expect a whole lot of permutations and whole lots of fun.

What's more, it nows come with a promotion package that has sincerity, generiosity, kindness, patience etc accompanying it. All that a good person needs! How amazing. Yes, believe what you see and what you will be about to see. YES! The promotion goes on idenfintly! What's more, IT IS FREE! YES! F-R-E-E, FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love is sold at all worldwide man's heart store. We have more than a billion outlets around the world. Just approach anyone, including yourself and get your copy of LOVE, absolutely free! Anyone and everyone has love. Untap the potential in you today! Learn to love and be loved.

Evidence that this is the most sought after tool around the world today. Black Eye Peas' NUMBER 1 HIT: Where is the love, where is the love...

They are looking for it! Are you? Well look no more! The tool is in you! Yes! You! Make it the ultimate gift for everyone this christmas. Last Christmas, I gave you my heart... Well, what are you waiting for! Grab LOVE NOW!

Note: Determination to execute love each sold seperately...

Neighbourhood or Primier Institution

2005-12-09T22:04:00.001+08:00

This morning, I went to the the convenient shop down my block to buy a set of ' The Strait Times'. The newspaper is one my daily read and I would feel unbearable without it.

As I happily sat in front of the newspaper drinking a hot cup of tea, I flipped to the third page of the newspaper and the headlines read, " Top PSLE student switches choice to RGS". Immediately, it sparked of my interests of the article and I started reading it. I was flabberghasted... They dared to put this kind of article in a world class newspaper? Gosh!

The article was about this girl that got a top score of 273 in her primary school for her PSLE. She opted Bukit Panjang Secondary School for her first choice initially. She could easily get into top institutions like RGS, but due to financial difficulties, she backed out. She was later assured that school fees wouldn't be a problem as a large portion of it would be paid for by the Edusave Scholarship. She then changed her mind for RGS.

What sparked my fury and disgust was the sense of elitism portrayed in the article. It referred BPSS as a neighbourhood school while RGS as an elite institution. Not that I have anything against RGS or what, as a matter of fact, the school produce outstanding students that really impressed me. But it doesn't serve any purpose calling them an elite institution. The article made it sound like "Oh! Poor girl! Are you nuts! You get to go into RGS and you chose BPSS?" Hello! Whats wrong with going to BPSS? I mean the issue here is that she has financial problems and that should be the focus of the article, not about RGS or BPSS. In fact, I think the printing of the school names is uncalled for. What does it show? We are stucked with this screwed up attitude that what everybody regard as the best is always the best. Being in one of the so called 'elite' institution in Singapore since secondary and now, I definitly met a lot of people that just don't deserve to be here at all. We are not as good as we think we are. True, most people here have the brains, but they definitly do not have the attitude. They lost their emotional well being and expressiveness. Disgusting EQ I would say.

Don't get me wrong, it only represents a minority here. At the end of the day, the school only play a small role in maintaining its reputation, what really counts is the students. BPSS and many other 'neighbourhood schools' produce students that are very cheerful and expressive. Many of them are bright and hardworking too. Ask me who I would work as a team next time, it would be them. Better to work with people that have EQ than loads of nonsense in their heads and think that they have the world in their hands.

I am impressed by the girl. She said one simple statment, that hit the nail on its head. "BPSS is not a neighbourhood school" she said. It shows that she understood all the debates going around her. She understood the fact that success in life is not branded as elite but one that acquires the skill to communicate. To her, I give my salute. I wish her all the best in life.

To the people out there who think you are an elite, think again. I don't call myself an elite, because elites don't ever think they are one. That is what make them unique.

Where is The Baby in Us?

2005-11-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

Recently, I have the chance to go about interacting with kids. Some time last week, I went to do CIP in Toa Payoh Care Corner. It was really a fun experience, though some little girl called me something... :( Haha

What really struck me was that I was going there to teach them something. However, they taught me more than what I taught them. Seeing the kids there really make me see a different side of humans. The kids were around Lower Primary. They are in the stage of rooting, just like the sprouting of beans. By that, I mean that they are starting to face the realities of the world. We were all born pure and innocent. But as we start to grow, we start to acquire the traits of evil in us. I see kids fighting and the hatred glowing through their eyes. I see kids lying, thinking they can get their way through. I see kids backstabbing and sabotaging other kids. I see kids ostracizing other kids just because they are different. The amazing thing is that adults like us are doing things exactly the way these kids do things, just on a more destructive scale.

Just today, my cousin visited my family. Her kids were super cute. There was a baby that is around 1 year plus. His eyes were glowing with curiosity. His face was ever radiant with happiness, stranger to the harsh reality of the world. I can't bear to think that all of us were once like this before. Everyone, ranging from the top notch politician to the dark violent gangster. We were all pure. Where is the baby in us?

My church once taught us on a passage in the bible, which I can't recall where, that it is the people with the heart of a child will be able to enter the kingdom of God. I can now fanthom what it means. We were all so pure, all so cute, all so adorable. Yet, we are all so different now. This is a very sad fact.

But I believe that everyone has a baby in them. Lets just hope that we will be able to find that in us. Sometimes I look at my baby photos and I can't bear not to smile. Sometimes, I can't even believe it was me. Haha...

By the way, the photo is one of my baby photo taken with my sis. :)

Science or Religion?

2005-11-21T16:45:00.000+08:00

Haha. Recently, I have been thinking about this rather weird question. Science and Religion, which is more powerful? I don't know why I have been thinking about this question but I have been thinking about it anyway. :)

Well, personally, I am a more religion supportive person. But I tried very hard to look at this question from a very logical point of view, which is not very me.

Firstly, we need to understand that both science and religion have equal influence around the world on many people. Science existed as early as religion did in the history of mankind. Our ancestor both knew how to light a fire and pray to a fire god. Ever wondered why both of them stayed on so long? Not that we were able to prove that they are useful, but more of being unable to disprove both parties.

From my point of view, science is an endless pursuit to search for the ultimate truth that can never be found. It is a hunger and desire that is encripted in our human genetics, a thirst that cannot be quenched by any means. We long for answers and we come out with new questions.It is a never ending search that is disguised under the name of improvement and progress. The reason that science cannot be disproved is due mainly to the clearly defined boundaries set by humans themselves. Everything is restricted by the human domain that defines our own world. Yet, we claim to be moving away from our own world when we found something in our own world. We claim to know another world better by revolving in our own world. What we see and do are based only on our human senses. There is a restriction. You can't go any further. Thus, in the human world, science can never be disproved because it is a system that humans encrypted themselves.

This brings me to the next point. If science can only work within our own domain, we stand a chance of disproving it in another world right? And we can't disprove that there is the possiblity of another world because we are simply stucked within our own world! That is where religion comes in.

Religion is based largely on the assumption that there is more to what we have in our own scope of observation. Though it is an assumption, we cannot say it is wrong or right as we assumed it in the first place. Science itself is based on an assumption that the system and notations that humans come up with is correct, where there is a high possibility that is flawed as I mentioned earlier.

Religion is able to explain the existence of two worlds. Both what is happening in the human world and what is happening in the other world, which is commonly referred to as God's dimension. For example, Christianity is able to explain why there is so much conflict and sins in the human world. Buddhism is also able to explain the reason for human's unrest. Also, they are both able to give an explanation of what will happen after we die. We cannot disprove them as none of us can remember going through the process of life after death.(I said remember because some religion believe in reincarnation) Science is unable to do that. Science can only explain what we see and draw conclusions that works only in our dimension. Try asking science to explain the root of human sin. They might start by saying, "Oh, there is a particular part of your brain called the pituclasis(fake name, haha, I crapped it), that is responsible for human impulsive behaviour. Chemical X and Chemical Y react to form a highly carcinogenic product that stimulates the pituclasis gland and blah blah blah. Then I will continue to ask, why will they react? They will rattle on the chemical structure... Then I will ask, where did the proton and electron come from. They would probably rattle on into the realm of quantum physics. And I will finally ask two simple questions, where do all these start and how sure are you that they all started this way? They would probably lose their patience and say, " Believe me or not? I can't be bothered with that! You are just a wimp with no idea what you are talking about and you can never succeed because you lack the thirst for knowledge. You are just a free rider in this world..." He will probably take a knife and chop me too! Haha.. Now that is sin.

Religion gives a simple and flawless answer( IN THE HUMAN DIMENSION), " You are born like this and a higher suprapersonel made you like this. Like it or not, you are what you are. Live with it. God made you weak so as to contrast His powers with you. God made you to love you. Simple. Sweet...

The problem with religion is that people can't phantom it. It goes beyond their senses. It goes beyond their observation scope, their domain. There is a saying, "Humans are habitual creatures, we don't like to venture away from our comfort zone." This is exactly the case. We can get out of our comfortable domain to trust and believe in religion. Thus, many people choose to disown the need for religion.

Because of all the above. I conclude that in the present case, religion overpowers science as it can come up with more answers to questions that science is speechless to. All these is through the careful logic that I come out with. But then again, logic is human based. We defined logic. My logic could be different from the logic of yours, or even a kid. Who knows, I could just be another screwed up person with a screwed up logic talking about a topic no one bothers. :P

The whole essay sound as though religion is good and science is bad. WRONG! I hold the view that both science and religion are equally important. Without religion, our spiritual life would be dry(That is assuming my screwed up logic of spirits exists :P). Without science, I won't be able to publish this to you. The problem with science is people distort its sole purpose. It is not for the search of the truth. It is to allow us to enjoy our walk of life on this earth. In my case, I believe that science is too glorify the miraculous God that created such wonderful carbon based creatures that are given the ablilty to manipulate. The truth is there, search no more. Knock... :P

To end off, let me tell you. I am a Christian( some may find me an irritating one after they read this. I AM SORRY! I CAN'T HELP IT! :P), who believes that science and religion and are coherent party that supplement each other. Faith and action is 2 different corelated things. I should use my action to uphold my faith. Science is one important avenue of executing my actions in upholding my faith. I love both and I need both...

The question then comes. Which is the right faith? I shall stop here and go no longer. I need to curb my endless passion of argueing. I will rattle on and on and one and even end up in jail. Opps.. Because my belief system is over running me now. Who says I am right? I don't know..

I pity your eyes and brain(pituclasis)......

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE REPRESENTS THE AUTHOR'S VIEW AND SHOULD NOT BE REGARDED AS ANY CONTROVESIAL ARTICLE. THIS COULB BE DUE TO THE HIGH PROBABILITY FOR ANY HUMAN BEING TO HAVE A SCREWED UP LOGIC. READ IT AT YOUR OWN LEVEL OF LOGIC.... :P

The Path That Lies Ahead:Scenic or Treacherous?

2005-11-18T15:46:00.000+08:00

I took a picture of this painting in my house. Was actually trying my dad's new digital camera. It was a thought provoking painting I would say. At the first sight, this picture gave me the impression that it was very beautiful and scenic. However, upon a few more looks, I actually found it rather mysterious. A thin fog engulfs the path ahead, giving it a rather mysterious feeling.

I then started wondering, is the life that we are living one that has a bright future or one that brings about great turmoils ahead. Many a times, we choose the path we wish to take in life. We want a successful carreer. We want big houses and we want superb results. But where does all this leads to? Will it all turn out to be what we wanted? Is it too late to turn back when we find ourselves making the wrong choices? Will we be able to quench this undying thirst of desire in our hearts? The desire to acheive something in our shortlived life. We force ourselves to do things that we think will help acheive what we desire. But will the paths that we take bring us to the right desire? Is the desire in itself justifiable?

Life is filled with decisions that are commonly signified as the paths of our life. Let us have the correct destination in mind. Let us choose our paths correctly. Let us not be blinded by the foggy beauty of the paths ahead of us, for it could just be a tingling sensation that lures us into greater turmoil and bottomless pits. Temptation of life fills our lives. Be careful...

PS: I pray that God open the eyes of our hearts for each and everyone...

A New Beginning and A New Purpose

2005-11-18T15:27:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since I last made any ammendments to my blog. Well, I stopped posting for some time, basically I found my postings rather meaningless. I somehow find my postings lacking a little something, that is the purpose.

I now want to restart this blog of mine as one that has a purpose, that is an avenue for me to share my prespectives to others, and for others to share theirs. I don't want to make it a website that serve as a purpose of posting my rantings or what. Trust me, that is dumb and meaningless.

What I hope to bring out of this blog is one that can really spark the discussions for interesting questions that life has posted for us. I hope it can benefit me into becoming a more mature thinker and really understand the prespectives of others.

This site is not for delivering my meaningless rantings. This site is not for me to attack anyone that I don't like(though I never don't like anyone before). This site is not for me to publish meaningless post for the sake of readership. So, if I happen to do anything of the above, please kindly remind me by giving comments. I don't want to be a meaningless blogger. I want a purpose in everything I do. :)

So, I will be posting things that really make me want to reflect about this world and our lives, and about this interesting creature called Human. Some time or another, I might be posting Christian related post( I just can't help it! Hehe :P). Just really all of you come read with an open mind. I won't be posting if there is nothing I wish to post, so you all might see my site to go hiatus sometimes. But do drop by now and then, to check out whatever I write. I would also be more than happy if you can share your comments.

Haha, all that is said, just really hope that you all will drop by and read my postings and also post constructive comments. I hope to make this a nice little cosy blog for all of us, to come together and explore the different aspect of something called life. :)

Feeling Shorter

2005-06-12T23:21:00.000+08:00

Hmm... I am feeling shorter. Seems like the world is piling up itself on me! The minute I got back from Mongolia, things start rushing to me and woah, I am all stressed up again!

Block test is like coming in 2 less than 2 weeks and I have barely started!!!! Need to overlook vball stuff and pw. Argh!!! Irritating! I am so worried about my block test now. I am going to die for it and the question is how well I die for it. :D

Well, I guess most people do this in their blog. Complain complain complain.... Well, I should say that is downright boring to read but hey, I really need to say it out! I guess everyone is feeling the same. Everyone have their own commitments right? So what make mine so special? Everybody is facing the same thing. Really need to put all these in my blog in order to feel better.

Really need to thank God. Was supposed to overlook the vball bbq stuff. Honestly speaking I HATE doing such stuff. Well, to my horror, I suddenly realised it was this tuesday and I haven't cater for it yet! So I message chun li and thank God, my senior Shawn settled for it already. Woah! Hahaha. So busy with my own stuff that I totally forget about it.Haha... Thanks Shawn! Thanks Chun Li! Most importantly, Thank YOU GOD!!!!! At least now I have one less burden and it feels really good. Trust me. But I feel a little guilty though, that was supposed to be my job but I left it for my senior to do it. Shame... this bbq was for them! Argh!

Ok. Anyway, stop wasting your time reading this entry now. It is just for me to relieve the burden of mine. Go find your own way of relieving your own burden. Don't waste your time on this entry... What! You are still reading? For God's sake, go!! Bye bye!!

Really want to thank God. God's plans are PERFECT!!

Hehe... :P

Life Back to Normal

2005-06-08T22:45:00.000+08:00

Haha... I am like typing about me coming back from Mongolia around 6 days after I came back.

Mongolia was so fun and I miss it alot of it. The people, the friends the scenery! Ah!!!! I want to go back to Mongolia! I love it! I just feel so relaxed when I was there. No pressure of the urban lifestyle was on me. I felt so free. So much like the birds in the sky, the horses running on the everlasting plains. Thus, when I came back to Singapore, I felt like a locked up bird that has just tasted the true meaning of freedom.

Life is back to normal. Study, training, eat, sleep. Hai... How I wish life could be so free everyday. That's why I should work hard now! So that I can become a missionary doctoer. Then I will travel around the world and do the things I am passionate about. God! May it be Your will!!!!!!!!!!

Life is back to normal....

Going to Mongolia

2005-05-22T09:27:00.000+08:00

I am going to Mongolia tonight. My flight will be at 10.35 pm. Haha.. Real excited about it cause the last time I have taken a plane was when I was 7 years old.

Well, I am real glad that everything is running very smoothly. The banner is done, the t-shirts printed and all the gifts ready. Want to thank God for that. He really pulled me through as there was lots of tests and SPAs going on.

I never did expect myself to be in all these when I step into JC. It was only when my senior wei kiat told me about this experience that I realised that I am real interested in all these things. Hope it will be fun. Wish this thing will give me a foretaste of what is it like to be a missionary doctor.

Hey logistic team! You people rock man!!! Real nice working with you all. Think that you all are real effective workers. Feel safe in the hands of such people when they are in council. Haha... Must enjoy this trip ah!!

To all the people in Singapore, I miss you all!! Though it will only be 2 weeks, I still can't help thinking of the people here, especially my family. Thanks dad, mum and sis. You all really helped in my packing!!! I would have made a mess out of everything if not for the help you all provided. To 05s76ers, enjoy your EEP week hor! Will miss you all one. Volleyballers, haha.. I will be off for 2 weeks, hope you all will have fun training. Jia you hor! Champions is ours if we work for it!! :) To all YMers, keep the fire alive and enjoy service!! Keep God's fire burning and pass the warmth to others :)

Ok! Tata! Go to get ready for church now. See you all REAL soon!! BYE!!!!! :P

God bless all who comes before Him....

Hello

2005-05-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

Yo pple! It has been like ages since i last blogged. Couldn't remember the feeling. JC life is almost killing me now! Sorry for the lack of content in my life. But currently, life is just as simple and complicated as it seems. :P

To all my fellow TCHS 4G 2004 classmate, how have you all been doing? Really hope to see you all soon. Must enjoy your JC life ok? Life is not all about studying. Know more friends and if you all happen to have a stead, do keep me updated!!

05S76! WE ROCK ON MAN!!! You guys are one of the funkiest pple around and I love you all! We must play together, study together, eat together and TOP THE RESULTS TOGETHER!!!

I will be flying off to mongolia this coming sunday. This is my first time going overseas to do CIP. Must really thank God over here for this wonderful oppurtunity. Never knew that I could get through the interviews! What's more, it is a Christian initiative! Haha.. happy!

Hey, to girlgirl. Nice to meet you. Though, I feel a bit erm... Wah. I don't even know you and you don't even know me. Haha...

To God, sorry I have neglected you so badly. Please forgive me. Many a times I get too involved in things that I long to acheive that I forgot that You are the reason why I am doing these things. Thank you Lord!

To my family, I have neglected you all too. Will spend more time with you all. Also to my church friends, MAY GOD'S MINISTRY BE FOREVER ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Updating

2005-03-20T19:22:00.000+08:00

Yo pple! Haha... Doing some spring cleaning on my blog today. My blog is in a cake of dust!

Anyway, march hols are just over and I am very busy! Trainings take up most of my time. Ah!!! I am so tired. Today is sunday and I still have a friendly match! And what's more, today is palm sunday!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I would really like to thank God for bringing me through these though time. Haha.. Eh! I am confident our team can go far this year! Go HC go go go!! Go A boys and A girls. WE CAN MAKE IT!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha... NEW TERM IS COMING! CHIONG AH!!!! GOD BLESS ALL!!

Wearing Out

2005-02-04T22:33:00.000+08:00

I am dying of sleep deprivation already. For so many days, I came back home late after training and I like cannot get enough sleep. Lectures were a torture for me. I never sleep in lessons when I was in TCHS. But now, I can't even control myself. My eyes just closes as the lesson goes on. It is really horrible. Help me!!

Got a feeling that my relationship with God nowadays seems to be drifting away. Could it be that I am too engrossed in my own things that I neglect the One who is the source of my everything. Sometimes, I just think that I take His love and mercy for granted. No! That cannot do. I must renew my relationship with Him.

Went out with my class today to buy some things for the CNY stall. My class people are really funny. No wonder they say guys are from Mars and girls are from Venus. The girls seems to be diverted by many things when shopping. But they tend to think thinks on a more logical and calculative manner too. Pros and cons. Haha... I LOVE my class. We rock man 05S76!!!

Will I....?

2005-01-30T22:30:00.000+08:00

Something is pressing in my heart this few days. My coach said that our team will have all the J2s plus one J1 confirm in the team le. That makes it 2 places for 4 J1s, me included. I dunno why, I am starting to feel worried. Everything I think of is volleyball. Even in my dreams!!

I am starting to think, what for I train so much when I might not get into the team? I have always been the main six player. Now, I might not get into the team. That is really depressing. Then, I realised something, other pple are also training as hard as me. Reality is, not all pple can be appeased. So, I think I have to leave it to my one and only sovereign God.

Will I...?

JC Life ; Looking Forward To It

2005-01-08T17:07:00.000+08:00

Just had my orientation. It was well, ok. Didn't have much fun because I was sick and couldn't play a lot of things. But, I enjoyed the times I spent with my CT group, that is my class. We have a bunch of fun loving fun people.

We ate together, crap together. We just got bonded together very fast. All I know is that I love my class and that I hope I can stay in it, by God's Will.

A Wait, An Experience

2004-12-29T18:35:00.000+08:00

Been quite lazy at blogging this few days, even though I have many things to blog. But, at least I don't blog without thinking. I like posting blogs that I am able to share with you all about the things I see and I feel.

Anyway, last Sunday, after church, I rushed to Toa Payoh Mrt station to meet my volleyball teamates as we were having bbq later that evening. I thought I was late but I ended up reaching there earlier than I expected. So, I thought my friends would be on time, but I was wrong, VERY WRONG!!! I called Ritz and he was still at home! God wonders what he was doing! Grr...! So, I had to wait for almost another half an hour more!

During that period, I just stood there and did nothing, looking at people walking pass me. I was like so bored and tired. Then Ritz and Ming Seng came and wah la! I thought we could finally go, but no. A man with sores all over his bodies came right in front of me and asked, " Are you a Christian?" I replied yes. He saw the cross I was wearing. Then he told me he was a Christian too. I learnt from the conversation that he was suffering from kidney failure and heart disease. The sores on his bodies were from an accident. His body was not able to heal properly. He wanted me to help him by buying some things he was holding in his hands. There were CDs and bread. He then prayed with me and he told me about his sufferings. I saw tears flowing out of his eyes. I cannot bear to see this. He then told me he was from my church too. I started to doubt him. But I don't mind if he was lying to me! I don't care! I wanted to help him! If he lies to me, so be it. I don't wish to know about it. At least, I know that I didn't put myself into suspense, thinking whether I just saw someone go, without me ever seeing again and not helping. So, I forked out 5 dollars. He insisted i take something. I insisted no. It is so sad. Such a age, and he needs to sell dirt cheap stuff like bread to maintain his income. Very sad...

Then, my church friends came along and saw me. I then left them with him and went off. For days the incident just stayed in my mind. I can't forget it. God thought me a lesson. He made my friends late to let me see this person I guess. I don't know. All I know is life is unfair and it will never be fair. God's love is universal though, he bless those he wants to and shower everyone with love. It's just whether you want to open up the door in your heart to invite Him in and live in paradise. Choices....

I leave you all in hope of peace. Amen..

Christmas; The Day A Savior Was Born

2004-12-20T10:01:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, I was walking down Orchard Road, with my family. We were there for shopping and boy should I say I was drowned in an endless flow of people! There seems to be thousands of people in Orchard Road, cause there was a Christmas Parade going on then.

Since I was in Orchard Road, must as well take a look at the parade. I saw many decorated cars or lorries... whatever, mobile decorations... -_- on the road. I thought to myself, this must be just some other kind of commercial activity that make use the period of christmas to boost their sales, or some other activity to boost the Singapore tourism ( like it is of any attraction!). Anyway, I had some doubts on the real meaning of the activity, until I saw the mobile decorations myself.

One of the decorations had these words " Onto us a Son is born". I was amazed! It actually decpicted the birth of Jesus! Then, there was another mobile decoration that depicted the birth of Jesus in the horse mangel, with Mary and Joseph. I was delighted! After years of waiting, someone finally depicted the real meaning of Christmas!

Christmas is NOT about Santa and his elves. Christmas is NOT about unwrapping gifts under Christmas trees. Christmas is NOT about eating turkey and Christmas dinner. Christmas is about ONE BABY, ONE MAN, ONE GOD, His affection and Love for us. It is about the birth of Messiah. The birth of Jesus. It is through Him can only we reach out to our pure and Holy heavenly Father. He gave His one and only son to save us from the depths of sin.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

May God bless you with peace and serenity. Amen

A Stroll; It All Begins...

2004-12-08T22:00:00.000+08:00

Tonight, I am alone at home as my sister is going to her prom night and my parents have an outing with my mum's colleague or something. So, for dinner, I had to go to Sunshine Place opposite my block to buy something to fill my stomach.

After dinner, I decided to take a stroll at the brink of the protected area next to my block. It was very quiet and the serenity is just so enjoyable. The air was very cooling and refreshing. It is under this kind of condition that we are able come face to face with our own real self.

I started doing some self talk in my mind, going through the happenings that ocurred in daytime. I looked at myself and others, I realised, human nature is and will always be, evil... I started to feel fustrated and sad over this fact and I just kept on grumbling to myself. Then, a thought struck me. Why am I wasting all my life doing things that are meaningless, doing things that just brings a short sense of pleasure but can never feel the empty soul? Computer games blah blah blah, that all just seems so irrelevant to me as I pondered on. They all just make us live in a virtual world, achieving things that we never tried to aspire in real life. That's it, I made up my mind. I wanted to do something big, something that many people thought of doing but never started. I am on my way! I see myself growing old, living a simple life with my wife and children, serving a spiritual self.

All these might seem so dumb to you all. But it really just struck me and I suddenly have this passion, this unstoppable drive to aim for something I longed wanted to do. Now, I want to start... It all begins from here...

I would like to quote a chinese saying that I love very much. I found it very effective in encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone and venture into my very first step. Just like Samwise Gamgee did in LOTR, when he first stepped out of Shire, his beloved home. The saying is as follow:
千里之行，始以足下

May God bless all that lives by His ways...

God ; Creator of all Miracles

2004-12-06T09:15:00.000+08:00

It was on saturday that my church organised a 在你身边 concert. It is a mini concert perfomed by a christian band called '7 Days'.

As you will be able to guess, the performance was rocking! We rocked the whole of Toa Payoh with the jarring music and melodious songs. I really want to thank God that he got so many people around the estate to come down to our church to listen to the music. Many of them just drop by out of curiousity and 'boom', they got the performance of their lifetime! I also want to thank God, so much that we were able to have 10 new believers out of the 300 over audiences that came to our church! That was certainly amazing!

On a personal basis, I would also want to thank God for working miracles out for me, even when I am at my most down. That day, I invited the whole of my sec 4 volleyball team mates to join me in the concert. I was hoping to invite as many non-christian as possible, wanting them to know the love and glory of God. I have to thank Chunli for helping me reach out to the girls. :) Anyway, no one from my side wanted to come! I mean I would have expected that but then, the feeling was just too depressing. I prayed to God and he guided me by asking me not to give up. And so, I came online, in search of people I could invite. It just so happen that one of my volleyball team mate (T1) was online. T1 rejected me earlier on, but I tried persuading him, hoping that he would come. Just then, Chunli came online also and she helped me persuade him also. Thank God! After hours of persuasion, he finally got as close as to being uncertain whether to go or not to go ( very tiring you know that :P).

As I had to go and prepare for lunch, I went offline, leaving Chunli to deal with the ordeal of persuading him (Sorry :( ). I then messaged him after my lunch and he gave a solid 'No'. Depressing... Very depressing......

Just then, I came across one of the bible verses. It is as follows:

"Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me." Matthew 24:9

This is one famous verse that predicts the rejection of christian from the world while serving God and it gave me strength in wanting to share the burden of Christ. My burden is so insignificant as that compared to Jesus!

Another verse stated about Jesus:

"The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone; the Lord done this, and it is marvellous in our eyes" Matthew 21:42

And so, I just kept praying to God, in hope that T1 would come. I left it to God, to His will on whether he hoped to bring T1 to our midst. And so, I put everything at the back of my mind, prepared to go to church and I took the MRT to Toa Payoh.

As I was dozing off in the train when it reached Yio Chu Kang, I felt my handphone vibrate. To my suprise, it was T1! He messaged me, asking about the concert. He then told me that he wanted to come! I felt like yelling on the train then! The joy of seeing him come was never felt before. He then told me that he felt like there was nothing to do after his afternoon nap and was just curious to drop by. Hallelujah!

Many a times, we just left to many things to ourselves. In the end, we burdened ourselves too much, resulting in sulky emotions. I learnt that we should just leave it to God as he is our most faithful friend. Even till the end of time, he would still be there for you and me, if you believe...

I would like to bring your attention to this verse:
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

Volleyball Chalet; A Happy Time In My Memory

2004-12-02T20:32:00.000+08:00

I just came back from volleyball chalet today. It was really fun to be with my volleyball friends and seniors from both CHS and NYGH. Did many things like playing beach volleyball and card games. I loved the game 'RISK' I played with the guys. It was very funny, you can see all the backstabbing from the game. Haha...

Mind you, I think I am bloating from the 2 Bk meals I ate consecutively yesterday. I don't know how much exercise I need to do in order to burn off those fats! After all the training with the HCJC volleyball team, it makes me feel very guilty to eat such unhealthy food.

Anyway, this chalet was really a memorable one, and it will always be. But I really felt a little down when I left the chalet today. Looking back at all the times we shared, being a team and facing difficulties together, I cannot bear to see myself parting with these friends. Some of my team mates commented that they do not want to join volleyball anymore in JC. I really felt downcast hearing that as this meant that I will have less chance to be in contact with them. All the time we had sharing crap, talking nonsensical stuff, really seems to be passing and fading away fast. This chalet just really marks the end of my relationship with my volleyball team mates in secondary school, whether we would be able to stay the way it is for the future, let fate decide.

As I was walking down the car park at my block, I had this strange question in my mind. How many people do you get to see and to know in your life, that they just seems as though you have known them forever, yet they just disappear like flowers wither from your life, hardly do you ever see them again. The more I thought of this question, the more sad I become. Maybe I should just leave it to God, nothing can change His will. All I know is that He will be the most trusted friend in the my life and will always be.

Why do people have more of these weird feeling as they grow older? Why do they love to look back at the past? Why do they do lots of weird things just to relive that short, memorable feeling, just like it is in the show " 6 Weeks"? I don't know, I just don't know...That brings me to one of the verses in the bible. Jesus said that only people with the heart of a child would be able to pass through the gate of Heaven. Indeed, adults burden themselves too much with this kind of relationship. This is because they have experienced hurting ones, only to realise how precious those true relationship really are. For a child, he knows no hatred and unreal relationship. All he knows is that someone who gives him a sweet is someone that is a friend, connected with a beautiful kind of feeling. That feeling is love. How sweet and pure that kind of love is, just like how much God loves us.

I am really feeling very weird now. This kind of feeling have never struck me so hardly before, and I am just sitting here, contemplating what the future holds for my destiny. Maybe it is time I let go of my feelings and let God perform His will on my life. Let God...

May God grant you the peace and serenity in the soul. Amen...

Game Over ; A New Beginning

2004-11-23T13:09:00.000+08:00

O's are over, so is a levels going to be. I just can't help thinking, after all the hard work and effort that I put in, A levels is just 2 years away. Time really flies, I can just imagine how I would be mugging ( maybe) when the A levels come.

Anyway, right now, I believe that I can't keep myself too free. Life is short and there are many things to fight for. That's why I believe, for those who have many dreams you wish to fulfill, now is a good time to start fighting. There may be many other people fighting for the chance to change this dream into reality, what makes the difference is all about when you start, how you start.

It might sounds a bit anti climax to say that we should start studying now for JC. That was not what I meant. What I meant was that it is time we should start to think about what we want to be in the future. Before we know it, we might be sitting in a University Lecture Hall listening to a dumb lecture. It is important to start thinking now. We are entering a Pre-U college next year!

So much for the old man's talk, anyone interested in taking up the guitar with me? Hehe! Recently got the interest and found a few courses. But anyone can enlighten me which school is good? I heard some people saying Yamaha ain't very good. My church friends can teach me but I would very much like to undergo 'proper training'. So I guess someone would care to join me? Hehe... Also, can someone tell me what is the better type of guitar and what is the cost a guitar. No need to be too expensive. I am refering to acoustic guitar here. Thanks!

Well, all the best to all here. Hope that you all not waste your holidays on too much on useless things. Go fight for your dreams and I believe it is time we start thinking.

God be with you.

Chem Prac

2004-10-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

Wah! Today's chem prac was an interesting one.

For titration, the reading is 19.5 and I estimated the metal to be aluminium. But then the lab technician told us it should be sodium. But the whole cohort like almost half gotten aluminium.

Then, I heard rumors saying that the concentration or something about the chemical went wrong. So, I hope that is true, that would safeguard my marks!

Good luck for the coming o levels and may God's peace and serenity be with all of you!

Back

2004-10-20T09:31:00.000+08:00

Hello! I am back after like not blogging for almost 2 months!

Currently, I am kind of worried. I am worried that I am ill prepared of the o levels. I wonder if you all have the same feeling that you want to be enthusiastic but you just can't start your engines because you don't know which subject to start from? It's like prelims is over and that I am repeating what I have just studied. Makes me go Zzzz....

Thursday is chemistry practical and I am nervous. Not because I am not prepared but it is due to the fact that practical has many unforseen circumstances. Will someone shoot some green solution onto my paper and shirt just because he overheated the solution and the test tube was facing me? Well, that happened in prelims practical and I was like, what the hell... But as the saying goes, " Worrying is like a rocking chair. It makes you moves but brings you no where."

So, why not stop worrying and leave it to God? He has His ways! :)

DON'T EXPECT MUCH

2004-08-27T21:39:00.000+08:00

Prelims are coming and so is o levels. Can't afford to spent my time too meaninglessly now. So, I won't blogging much now. So, wait till exams ended then come and drop by! :)

Anyway, I got this freaky horoscope from my friend and it is frigthening true. Have a read at this. I quite agree with the lazy part as that is what I am doing now, after a long tiring day training and don't do anything else. The rest, I choose not to comment lah. You all know me better. :) See ya all soon!! God bless you! +

LIBRA MAN
A man who has no balance like his Zodiac symbol. He is not the gentle, cool , calm and charming guy like what you see. He has another dark side of aggression, stubborn and he likes to start an argument the most. Sometimes he can be so depress and unstable. Up and down like he is trying to balance himself most of the time.
To many people, he is a friendly guy and always smile even when he is mad or up set. His voice always gentle and calm. he always set and comb his hair as if he comes out from a shampoo advertisement. Mostly Libra men are good looking, even the ugly one is charming. When he smiles, it is so bright that the whole world is smiling with him too.
When he is in a balance mood, he is the type of person you want to be with. In other unbalancing mood, he likes to make people argue about something and watching it with fascination and fun. He will wait to be the one who compromise and clear thing up. He likes to be in a conflicting conversation.
Libra man is lazy by nature. After his tired day at work, he likes to sit still and just look out of the window or read quietly. He likes to be in his own world. After recharging his battery, he will be very energetic again and may even take you out that night.
Libra man normally will not do any shocking or abnormal things to be noticed. He likes to be conformed with his crowd, but if you watch him carefully, you will see the different. If he wear a shirt, it will have to be a zipper front instead of buttons, or a special tie bar. There is always something in him that he will not allow totally conformity to take him over.
A straight forward , no non-sense guy. He is careful and delicate in details. He will spent extra time to doing it right, than comes back to correct them later. He hates people who boost, or exaggerate. He does not like over dressed woman or make herself a center of an attention.
He loves to read. He loves poems and loves art. When he works he can work like crazy, but after work he can turn on romantic jazzy music and treat you so gently. He loves to give people advice and normally give a good advice. If you fall for him, you will stay like being trapped in a spider web. If you want to break up with him, he will persuade you a zillion ways to stay and you can not stop him anyway. After he persuade you to stay, or after a big fight, he will be so sweet to you as if he has never hurt your feeling before ever.
He will has his own way to win a girl love and affection. Once she says yes, he will lay back and wonder if he should go on or if he should back out. In his teen, he changed many girl friends because he can not clearly separate loving a friend and loving a girl friend. He will check and re-cheek if his match is suitable and compatible with him.
Even he is a romantic man, he can hardly understand the emotion of the one he loves. He is a generous guy even he sets his life so systematically. He never knows when he makes you unhappy. He never knows how he up set you. He will never knows what he said wrong. If he is your lover, be prepare for this.
A not so pretty girl with no brain is not his type of woman. If you are not pretty enough, he will not mind talking to you but he does not care to get to know you. Any girls, pretty or ugly can ask for his help, he will be happy to help. He hates to argue by yelling at each other, so you tend to see he argue with his girl friend seriously but try at best to be very quiet.
He likes to have a girl friend by getting to know each other like a friend first. If you want him, you have to like the same thing he does. He prefers a pretty and gentle woman than a smart and ugly woman. You have to understand his mood especially he can has many different moods. He is a private person, so when he needs to be alone better let him be.

An Interesting Day

2004-08-24T13:33:00.000+08:00

Wah! Today is one of the most climatic days of the 16 years of my life. Firstly, I was late in the morning.

I left home at 6.55 am. I arrived at the car park and started looking for my dad's car. I couldn't find it at the second floor, then I went to the 3rd and then the 4th. The amazing thing was that my dad followed me and that he didn't realised that too. In the end, he couldn't find his car and even forgot where he parked it! Then we went back to the 2nd floor and we found it there, parked just right beside us when we entered the carpark... Maybe my dad is old liao or maybe he is too stressed at work. Hai...

Because of that, I left home at 7am. Supposedly later than normal but still can make it in time. So I just sat back and relaxed the ride. Until I reached Dunearn Road. I was horrified to see the jam and I knew I was going to be late. In my whole oo my life in Chinese High, I have never been late, save the day on racial hoarmony day when an accident cause a jam. I panicked like I was in living hell. I prayed to God that a miracle would happend, even though I knew that the likelihood of me singing National Athem alone at the terraces is 99.9%. When I reached school, it was 7.40am. Doom day. I walked up the slope slowly, expecting to be caught by the NCCs. No one came. Wanting to play safe, I walked up the bridge linking swimming pool and classrooms. It was more discreet there. Sec 4 what, know the way around the school very well. But then, Mr Terng shouted, " All latecomers come over here." I was just in his view and he knows me very well. If he sees me, he would know that I am late. But miraculously, he didn't look over to my side. Second obstacle cleared. I then walked to the classroom, "camouflaging" myself among the sec 1s, though I seemed a little tall. Then no one saw me coming late. I then entered the classroom and my form teacher was not there yet. So she didn't know I was late cause my kind monitor, "KIND SOH" didn't tell her. Looks like I tarnished my nick as "integrity". Hmm... But never mind lah, I won't be that honest till I go into Jeffery Lim's cubicle and tell him I am late. Only an idiot would do that! I then realised why no one caught me, cause today is sec 2s camp. No one was on duty! God really helped me! He worked out the 0.01% out on me! Thank God man! It was like a miracle!

Sorry for blogging so long. Too exciting to be missed! The next thing was my Geography common test. I didn't prepare much and yet, I got the highest! Ah..!!! I am not boasting or what but I certainly don't deserve it. But I prayed, and it worked! Well, He works it out in His ways. Hehe... But don't kill me or do some "bonding activities" with me. Cause other subjects I cannot compare with you all. SSH was the only subject I studied and yet, I flunked like hell. Some people got 35 ah... So, it really equals out after all! :) Then come my English. Mdm Loke niao me until like that, and to think that I could depend on my descriptive writing to pull up my English, now all is lost. Hai... Go ITE liao lah!!( NOT DESPISING ITE HOR)

Well, it seems like today was a fun day. Watched Men's Volleyball Preliminaries today, damn sianz... Italy and Russia, like competing who make less mistake. They zham each other like nothing like that. Want to learn from them man! But in the first place, am I that tall? Hai... Hopeless, I think I am a lousy player. Play so long still stuck at that level. I go JC will become qiang zhe one. I MUST not put 9 yrs of training into nothingness! NO!!!!!! I aim to be star player in Hwa Chong man! YES! Wait, did I not say I will end up in ITE? :( Sob...

Anyway, so much for the crap, now that I blogged, Andy, are you happy?Juz joking lah. Thank God as always. Bless you all! :D

Pre-Oral Stress

2004-08-16T22:23:00.000+08:00

Wah! Damn stressed now. O level english oral is tomorrow and I have done nothing to prepare for it! Scary isn't it.

Well, honestly, I am worried for my picture description. I always find it difficult to cope with the picture with coherence. That is my weakness. The others should be alright. But I am still nervous! Guess, I will have to depend on Him. Ronald Susilo depended on Him and he won. I believe He would have His way out for me... :)

Well, come to think of it, do I have the right to say that I am stressed? Children around the world are worrying for their lives. One moment they are worrying for their food and clean water supply, the next moment a bomb explodes and their legs are gone. What am I doing here? Blogging and acting stressed. Come to think of that, its a shame.

Really want to thank God for what He has given me. Ought to make better use of my time! Well, got to prepare for oral. Bless you all!

Feeling Better

2004-08-12T12:15:00.000+08:00

Ah... Feeling much better now after that horrible sickness. Still feeling a little tired though. And you know what, I have to abstain myself from my greatest addiction, sports! That's for the whole of this week. It's a real bad news to me as I planned to play volleyball with my teamates this Friday after common test. Sadly, I guess i won't be chilling out now on Friday. Grump.

Also, I learnt a bad news today. My chemistry lost to wang hao! Not that I despise him or what but he got an A2. That spells bad news for me as the highest grade I can now attain is an A2. That is a real blow to me and definitely, I am feeling lousy. I know many of you will say I lame, I despise or I KB, saying can pass good enough already, but honestly, do you all think I will be happy with this kind of grade?

I learnt a lesson though (I love learning lessons! :) ), once you are at the top doesn't mean you will always be at the top. Hardwork tells it all. No pain no gain. That's the truth. All assume that zhaowei, luxin, keeguan must always be the top but they seldom see the hardwork put behind the scene. Then, we all will groan and blame why we can never be like them. That's what really stopping us from improving. I believe wang hao put in his effort this time and he got his fair share of reap. I, on the other hand, didn't put in my effort. I decided not to study chemistry that day and chose to depend on luck. That's it.

To all thoese who love to self despise, cut the habit. Once the top never always the top. The same goes to thoese at the lower end. You reap what you sow, I learnt that very well this time. :) Got lots of catching up to do, got to go, bye!

+PRAISE OUR HEAVENLY LORD FATHER+

Saturday Night Fever

2004-08-09T12:17:00.000+08:00

Arh...Damn tired now. You know why? Caused I experienced the Saturday Night Fever. Not the one you have in discos but more of the real fever, on a saturday night. Erps.. Cold.

Last night, before I slept, I had a temperature of 38.0 degrees. I took a panadol pill to relieve it, only to wake up in the middle of the night, measuring a temperature of 37.6 dgrees. Ok, not bad it is declining. However, I woke up again in the middle of the night, around 3am, then, I measured a temperature of 38.0. It was like a fire was burning within, very unbearable. I ignored it, thinking it would drop. I was wrong, it went on to become 38.6. I took another panadol at 6.15 am and went back to sleep.

In the morning, I woke up again, only to find my temperature fluctuating around 37.5. It then started to climb again at around 11am. By then, the effect of the panadol have worn off. I then realized that this is no normal fever. I then went to the doctor.

At the clinic, I waited for almost an hour and 30 minutes when in between me was only 6 patients. Not sure whether you count that as long cause I seldom go to the doctor. All I know is that it was very very unbearable. It felt like I was going to faint. When it was my turn, I could hardly talk. Got a sore throat too. The doctor measured a temperature of 38.7 degrees, the highest I ever experienced. He then said that it was no normal flu or cold. It is the flu influenza and is very serious. Bad bad day man! I am really really tired. :(

This taught me a very good lesson though. Life is really so fragile. Just last night, I planned to go to church the next day, after not going for a few weeks. Then, I came down with this illness. Really, we can;t depend on ourselves. We are weak. Hai... May things go by God's will.

Topic: Studying, life process?

2004-08-07T13:14:00.000+08:00

At this period of time, I believe that many of you would be busy mugging for your exams right? If not, got to get started!

However important it maybe, I feel at times that studying is not the main dish of my life. There is still a whole lot of things out there for me to achieve, my dreams, ambitions. Life too has many things to look out for. I feel that many of us are putting in too much of out time in studying, really, that we missed out what is the most important in life.

So, what's your view?

Do comment! Thanks!

Blog

2004-08-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

Hello guys. This is just an entry to remind all of you that from now onwards, I feel that I will be starting to change my blog a little. I want to make it more useful, something worth looking at.

Many a times, I look at my blog, I feel it is lame and a waste of time. Everyday is this and that, then sob sob here, sob sob there. You kind of feel that it is not intellectual and it is an insult to all my readers intelligience.

Therefore, I decided that now and then, I will post a few topics together with my opinions. They can be of any genre and I open it to constructive disscussion. Of course, I would still be entering some of my personal accounts. It's just that I hope my blog will be of better use. Hope you all would agree with me too? :)

Well, do keep a lookout, bombard it with comments too and I hope you all will enjoy reading and discussing the topics. Have fun!

Changed Template

2004-08-04T22:31:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, how do you like my new template? Well, personally, I like it very much. Hope you feel the same!

Anyway, who knows how to use the JavaScript to put on picture animations ah? One to learn from you one day. I know Kee Guan knows but I will just have to wait. Grump...

By the way, thank God for this again. I won't be suprised if I grow up to be in a Christian radical group if I go on like this. But I hope I won't. Erps... Cold.

Common Test Rocks

2004-08-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

Just finished my chem and history paper today. One of the few toughest subjects are now over..., for the time being.

Actually, not that I am sadistic but I quite like common test. It actually gives me the time to revise on what I know and identify what I don't know. Honestly, I really want to thank God for this common test. I didn't study anything for this common test and miraculously, I managed to do all the questions that I spotted. Combined Humanities I spotted both SBQ. Then geography I banked my luck on plate tectonics and I was in luck!

This common test really thought me a lesson. I learnt that I can't really depend on myself. Sometimes, God is our only way out and he has his own ways and I really want to thank Him.

If you find me too religious, just ignore me cause I love to do this. Read the parts that interest you then! :) Good Luck!

What Else In Life?

2004-08-01T20:24:00.000+08:00

Long time since i last blogged. Yes, chunli reminded me that my blog is like collecting dust already. Must not waste internet resources, so i am here to start blogging.

Do i sound like i am blogging for the sake of blogging? Not really. Actually, life nowadays are just mugging and mugging. There isn't really much i can blog to make it real interesting. But come to think of it, there are many little things in life that you can really look forwaed to.

One of them would be my exercise regime. I have been doing situps and push ups everyday, religiously. It is really tiring. Sometimes, i really feel like giving up. But when i imagine the kind of body i did have, i would continue. Also, starting exercising at young would really carry you on in life. I don't want to land into hospital when i am 40 because of stroke or being diabetic. I really want to thank God for giving me the perseverance.

I really want to thank God. He had given so much hope in my life. Without him, i am like nothing. He gave me strength. I really love Him. Hope all of you will invite Him into your life. :)

Confident

2004-07-15T23:26:00.000+08:00

Taken 2 test today. One is chemistry and the other is A maths. Both of them were quite easy and so far, i found no mistake! Very happy to know that because, for both test, i did not really study them.

I am really annoyed by xxx. He seems to come and bombard my blog. I agree that i used the 'man' word too much but he is damn lame leh. Even my friends agree (suddenly he is someone among us!). But never mind, he is just a lamer passing by my blog. Just got to ignore him. Honestly, it is quite fun to see him laming around also.

Prelim Oral

2004-07-10T14:15:00.000+08:00

Damn happy today. Had my prelim oral today. Did better than expected. My picture description was smooth sailing man. I didn't know i was able to crap so much thing out of that picture when i am not even sure whether it is a malay culture or mongolia culture. HEHE... :)

On the other hand, the one i prepared most, reading aloud, i did lousier. Sob sob... I practised for so many weeks yet i was so nervous that i stumbled on a number of places. Damn demoralising(did i spelt it correctly?) man!

Aiyah.. Nevermind. Its over, i should be happy that God bless me by bringing me through. Next up is common test. The fact is that i have not started on History and SS, my weakest subject. Got to go man.....

Maths Test

2004-07-08T00:03:00.000+08:00

Damn happy. Add. maths test got 95! Never in my life man. I know that a lot of people will say what's the big deal. But to me, it is a big deal! That's because maths is my lousiest subject and i stink at it.

Vincent! You are going to get it from me man! I will trash you for the next test! Don't be too happy just because u got 100 this time. Remember aks? Arh.. Must learn his lesson.

By the way, who is this xxx in my tagboard ah? Lamer man. You should tell that to willy mole. Spamming is wasting resources. The fact that his nick is xxx tells me that this guy is a bit way off in his thinking man. Lame

Blogging At Home

2004-07-05T22:53:00.000+08:00

Finally, after 2 weeks of 'ordeal', i am now able to blog at home! Internet is ok now. I know it ia damn lame but i am really happy! :)

Free

2004-07-02T13:42:00.000+08:00

Lame today. Still blogging in school today. Just coming around. I am happy cause weekend is coming. Hope all of you will also feel the same!

Long time no see.

2004-07-01T15:04:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, it has been a long time since i last blog. Sorry for that! Because my internet explorer was down, and it IS still down. I am now blogging in school. I see that my tagboard is being used as a very interactive messenger huh. Hope the integrity will flow in you all.

Well, just to tell all of you the reason i am not currently blogging. Wait till my interent is restored, then will i blog again. Good luck!

Feeling happy

2004-06-06T15:50:00.000+08:00

Yo pple! Feeling happy today man. Don't know why but i am grateful to be in such a state. Wah, u guys are fast huh! Never tell all of u my blog address you all are already here commenting. Caught by suprise man! Thanks for that. By the way, who was the one that commented on the article "Sad" Thanks man! Care to identify urself? Hehe, thanks! As for bloody and ivan, i think no need it lah! Haha.

Friday was a tired one man. The 2.5 hrs sitting in LT3 (without air-con on) was freaky. With every few minutes mr ang yelling and me literally jumping off my seat was definitely not nice. But i managed to get a mere a1 for the mock test paper. Must thank God for it man cause i didn't prepare much. Factorisation saved me!

I then went on to watch Harry Potter at 8.30 pm. Trust me, it was cool! Daniel Radcliffe is handsome and cooler man! Rest assured, i am not gay, i am juz speaking the truth. To prove u that, Emma watson is also damn pretty! All of them seems to be better looking after 2 yrs. The effects were also cool, especially when harry yelled "Expecto Petronas!".

Well, cut the crap, think i have to start seriously preparing for studies man. Going to do physics now! Keep the comments coming! (but not in thousands bloody chun!)

2004-06-03T23:49:00.000+08:00

Only those who has a heart of a child will pass the heaven gates.

2004-06-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

Peace

Chem test

2004-06-03T23:07:00.000+08:00

Today's chem test really piss me off. Mrs Soh got my paper and looked through and she was laughing at me! She teased me! She said, " Aiyoh, calculation also can get wrong. Teach and teach still no use ah! (although she didn't really mean that)" She then left me in suspense what was my mistake. I left the class, walking down the stairs, thinking through my working. I walked alone... Lame. Then i found out my mistake! I divided instead of times 2 when the mole ratio was supposed to be 2! AH!!!!!! But nvm, still can get a1.Opps... gonna kanna despise liao. And zichun, pls don't spam hor!!!!!

I BEG YOU BLOODY CHUN!

Preparing for Term 3

2004-05-30T09:05:00.000+08:00

Hmm.... Term 2 have passed and term 3 is just round the corner. Seems like time flies so fast. Very soon, we will be having our sec 4 common test. Well, i guess its time to prepare myself mentally for the challenge ahead. Got to stop playing volleyball for a while (sob sob...) Not sure whether i can take it or not!

Looking at the schedule for my maths in term 3, i feel crazy. Got to prepare for 2 tests a week and that we have to do tons and tons of practice each day. And that's only for maths. Chem, physics, history etc is still not out yet. Seems like i would be very much looking forward to term 3.

Nevermind, term 3 will go as fast as it goes. Guess i'll just have to bite it through in order to survive. Wish me luck!

Sad

2004-05-28T22:09:00.000+08:00

Oh man, i am feeling so down now. Just tried communicating with my junior but he don't seems to want to communicate, so i think it is over lah. Aiyah, lost a friend, a teamate, a junior. He was pissed with me for being too authoritative over him and that i was not setting a good example as a senior by playing soccer after training. Sad case, but i guess it would be better this way. He wants it like that, i have no choice. Seriously, i think he can be a good captain. But he is becoming too much like me. He shouts and order pple atound and even shouted at my setter. I used to be like that too but i realized my mistake. Tried telling him and it seems useless. What comes around goes around, its my fault. All i can do now is to get out of his sight a.s.a.p. Sigh...